Check out Lammily, the "Normal" Barbie. Lammily should be available in November, though you can pre-order now for just $25.00 with free domestic shipping in the USA, $7 shipping to Canada and $13 international shipping. "AVERAGE IS BEAUTIFUL" Nickolay Lamm took info from CDC website for the average 19 year old American woman. Then he made a 3D model and painted the model in photoshop to make her look like a toy doll. If you're interested in ordering a First Edition Lammily doll check out the Official Lammily Website. |
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* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. * Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. * Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables. * During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. * Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet. * Be happy to see him. * Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. * Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. * Don't greet him with complaints and problems. * Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work. * Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. * Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. * Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. * A good wife always knows her place. *Exerpt from Good Housekeeping Magazine May 1955* "Santa Barbara Barbie"
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. "Pismo Beach (outlets) Barbie" The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full- time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. "Oceano Barbie" This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. "Cambria Barbie" This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also, available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. "Lompoc Barbie" This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, an NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. "Orcutt Barbie" This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built condo. "Nipomo (swap meet) Barbie" This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer- gutted Ken out of Oceano Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low- rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter- top. Also available with a mobile home. "San Luis Obispo Barbie" This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. "Santa Maria Barbie" This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Oh you silly men who have been hiding underground and in the closet! Come out, come out!!! It is time to show the world, it is not wrong for males to paint their nails. Now that right there, was mainly a pun, at all of you out there that really think that it is against the rules for males to have their nails painted. I am sick and tired of all of you that get all anal about people who paint their nails.
Oh look at that guy with the long hair, he looks like a girl. Oh look at that guy who has his ears pierced he looks like a girl. Oh look at that guy he has his nails painted. He looks like a girl...... Really, how about this.. WHY DO YOU PAINT YOUR NAILS? Have you imbeciles ever thought about the physical and mental benefits of nail painting? Have you ever seen someone with some sort of nail disease? Did you know that the nail disease that you have seen is most likely from not taking proper care of your nails? Think about this, and I am sure that you have all heard this before "YOUR BODY IS YOUR TEMPLE". That quote is pretty much self explanatory, but for those of you out there that really don't get it, let me explain it to you! YOUR BODY: Your body, the one you are in, the one that if you look down, or into a mirror you will see... This is you! YOUR TEMPLE: Your temple, as in your church, I am sure you have all been to at least one church in your life time, many of you members of a church. If you are a member of a church you should have a little more understanding of this point of view. Would you let your church wither away? Would you not help keep your church up? Would you not donate to your church? Okay, now that being said. You must take care of your body... I am not going to go into details, but I will give you some brief..... Food, water, exercise, etc... IF YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY IT WILL WITHER AWAY!!! We as people tend not to promote young males to painting their nails. Why? I do not know, I would guess that it is not politically correct for males to paint their nails. Why though? We tell our children to not bite their nails, take care of your nails, clip your nails. Nail polish on males, is such a taboo subject, and there isn't much information out there. But, I will tell you this... Unless you are some prude, and you have a little boy, I am sure that you have painted your kid's nails. Most likely because they have asked you to. But when is it appropriate to say NO, you are to old to paint your nails? Personally, I don't feel that you should tell them they can't if they want to paint their nails, it is up to them, I believe it will promote them to be more contentious of their nails in the future, to be sure that they take care of their nails. I have not gone to schooling for nail care, so I do not know all of the benefits of nail care, I really wish I did know. Have you ever shaken someones hand, and their hand was all rough? It most likely has made you want to pull your hand back, and not shake their hand. This most likely shows that they use their hands, but they do not know how to take proper care of their hands. We need to really start sharing with everyone that it is important to care for ones hands and stop thinking about oh, they look like a girl with their nails painted. I really don't know how to get this across to people, maybe this little note will help. If you have any ideas be sure to message me. You can message me comments or hate mail. If you're a man, and you're interested in painting your nails, here are a few links for you http://www.manglaze.com/ http://www.bbnailpolish.com/ http://www.alphanail.com/ Oh, and by the way, men wore nail polish before women! "Did you know nail polish was invented for men? Chinese Emperors and Egyptian pharaos were the first to cover their nails with polish!" http://www.lacquerized.com/2010/07/men-nail-polish-yay-or-nay.html Shane |
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